So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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