no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
