no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
