...so i touched it.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
