Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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