Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
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But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
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Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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