We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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