What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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