Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Houston, we have a squirter
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
