I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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