I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
