I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
