why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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