ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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