I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
