there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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