hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
