A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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