dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
