I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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