im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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