I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
