We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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