all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
