I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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