tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
