Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
We're facebook friends in real life
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
