in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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