I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Congratulations! We have a period
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
