haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
