I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
