just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
