Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I know her cup size but not her name....
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