Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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