this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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