people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
