i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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