it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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