The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
