Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
