guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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