why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Panties = found
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
