More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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