the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
