i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
