i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
