I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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