I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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