there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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