I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
