Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
