Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
