She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
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Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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