it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
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