He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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