My first STD was from a foam party
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
