I looked at my own cervix.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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