sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
