just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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