The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize