can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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