I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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